You are not the father

I’m a news buff. I browse several different news outlets, several times a day for updates and even watch several nightly (local, national and international) news broadcasts. While surfing around on CNN.com, I stumbled onto an article about a gentlemen who, about 4 years ago, received some paper work about an alleged daughter (though through DNA test, has been proven isn’t his child). This man spent a night in jail and is being required by the state of Florida to continue to pay $305 a month and $10k in back child support, for a child that is not his because they say he missed the paternity deadline (where he could contest it).

There is something horribly wrong with the “child support system”. I’m speaking from my own account, after witnessing things with my youngest sister and brother. My sister was lucky she ever received a penny out of her ex-boyfriend for any of their 3 children. To date, I believe he’s paid, maybe, $200. She sought for child support, through the legal system and was told she was entitled to approximately $50 per week. Not per child, for all 3 total. That’s an estimated $200 per month and to date, she’s only received the $200 or so mentioned. Why? Because he works under the table for his “full time” job and what’s reported to the state is very minimal. It’s disgusting that a single mom (though she’s since gotten married) would have to struggle to support herself and 3 children with no better assistance than that, while “dad” gets to earn oodles and not have to disclose it. Now, this is coming from the state of Georgia, my home state. After reading this article though, it’s apparent it’s not just “Georgia”, it appears to be a national problem that needs to be addressed! I personally feel that the states should require fathers to work full time jobs, that report all wages (at least 36 hours per week of reported earnings, since that’s considered full time). I’m sure their are slackers feeding off of the system, in fact, I’m sure of it as I’ve even known of them myself. In whole though, this is a perfect example of why many women need assistance (in my opinion of course, please share your own if you wish).

My brother has a child, that many of us (including him) believe isn’t his own. As this child has aged, you can see physical features that are not of his (my brother) and our families but more of the man his ex slept with (allegedly). My brother, however, is not willing to take a paternity test (at this point) because this is “his” child. We all love this child as my brother’s child (my nephew, parents grandchild and so on). Nothing is going to change that at this stage in our life. However, my brother was told several years ago by his lawyer that if he did contest it, he’d still have to pay child support because he signed the birth certificate (he had no idea about her “indiscretion” at the time). Thankfully though, like I said, my brother and our family is strongly attached to this child and couldn’t imagine turning this child away regardless of who he does or doesn’t look like.

For the man in the article though, he never knew about this “child” until 4 years ago. A child that has been proven is not his and even her mother has signed an affidavit stating he is in fact, not the father! I feel bad for this guy and really hope they’re willing to overturn this decision and not require him to support a child that isn’t his (especially when they sent paper work AFTER the deadline, which is a clear sign he had NO Idea).


3 Comments so far
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yeah my hubby pays child support for a child we know isn’t his. We had custody of her for 10+ years but due to her mental conditions she was a danger to the other 4 in our house and had no choice but let the state care for her. He’s been on disability and has gone through hell for the last three years. But they still require him to pay weekly. The mother on the other hand lives in FL and because FL isn’t all that grand with Child Support they don’t bother chasing her from job to job to get it. Now she’s in prison so no use trying. The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and my ex and I before marriage came to an agreement if we ever had kids and divorced child support wouldn’t be an issue. He doesn’t pay and we are still friends 17 years later. Let the parents work it out and keep the government out of the way.

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My husband’s father only paid $100 a month for 15 years. When I asked my MIL why it was such a small amount, she said she didn’t feel like it was worth it to pursue. I agree, I think it needs to be hashed out by the parents, I wish all the men would be willing to step up to the plate even though most are decent fathers.

Kat- “The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled.” Agreed!!

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OH lord you guys are talking my language now! The whole social services nightmare needs to be restructured and I just don’t know what else, and I’m looking at it from non child support perspectives!

But something that makes me really sad is that I have a cousin who was married to a woman with a child and they divorced before probably a year was up. When he went to the court hearing for the divorce to be granted he brought up the concern that she was keeping the other child away from him and he had grown to love her and it wasn’t fair to the child either. The judge then ordered him to pay more support on the child they have together to cover the costs of the other girl who has a father who pays child support already. He said well if you love her then you won’t mind paying for her. I found that strange as he has no rights to ever even speak to the child and that I know of hasn’t really been allowed to do so as she’s never around anymore.

However, Sydney’s mom is ordered to pay child support on Sydney’s sister to the person who is raising her. This person desperately needs the money and struggles to raise the kid adequately. There are issues with food and weight because she literally buys the cheapest crappiest food because it is what she can afford. Yet the mom has gotten away with it for 5 years and can’t seem to pay $125 a month in child support for this kid. If I were her I’d be gladly paying it since I have 3 other children in 3 other homes (mine included) and I’m not asked to pay a penny for those kids. I’d fear that my refusal of paying for one would result in Karma biting me in the ass.

So the message I get is that some men are expected to foot the bill for children that aren’t theres but a mother can get away with not supporting any of her children. At least that’s the pattern I see over and over here.



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