Comments on: You are not the father http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:54:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: ranee http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-738 ranee Fri, 13 Jul 2007 22:11:11 +0000 http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-738 OH lord you guys are talking my language now! The whole social services nightmare needs to be restructured and I just don't know what else, and I'm looking at it from non child support perspectives! But something that makes me really sad is that I have a cousin who was married to a woman with a child and they divorced before probably a year was up. When he went to the court hearing for the divorce to be granted he brought up the concern that she was keeping the other child away from him and he had grown to love her and it wasn't fair to the child either. The judge then ordered him to pay more support on the child they have together to cover the costs of the other girl who has a father who pays child support already. He said well if you love her then you won't mind paying for her. I found that strange as he has no rights to ever even speak to the child and that I know of hasn't really been allowed to do so as she's never around anymore. However, Sydney's mom is ordered to pay child support on Sydney's sister to the person who is raising her. This person desperately needs the money and struggles to raise the kid adequately. There are issues with food and weight because she literally buys the cheapest crappiest food because it is what she can afford. Yet the mom has gotten away with it for 5 years and can't seem to pay $125 a month in child support for this kid. If I were her I'd be gladly paying it since I have 3 other children in 3 other homes (mine included) and I'm not asked to pay a penny for those kids. I'd fear that my refusal of paying for one would result in Karma biting me in the ass. So the message I get is that some men are expected to foot the bill for children that aren't theres but a mother can get away with not supporting any of her children. At least that's the pattern I see over and over here. OH lord you guys are talking my language now! The whole social services nightmare needs to be restructured and I just don’t know what else, and I’m looking at it from non child support perspectives!

But something that makes me really sad is that I have a cousin who was married to a woman with a child and they divorced before probably a year was up. When he went to the court hearing for the divorce to be granted he brought up the concern that she was keeping the other child away from him and he had grown to love her and it wasn’t fair to the child either. The judge then ordered him to pay more support on the child they have together to cover the costs of the other girl who has a father who pays child support already. He said well if you love her then you won’t mind paying for her. I found that strange as he has no rights to ever even speak to the child and that I know of hasn’t really been allowed to do so as she’s never around anymore.

However, Sydney’s mom is ordered to pay child support on Sydney’s sister to the person who is raising her. This person desperately needs the money and struggles to raise the kid adequately. There are issues with food and weight because she literally buys the cheapest crappiest food because it is what she can afford. Yet the mom has gotten away with it for 5 years and can’t seem to pay $125 a month in child support for this kid. If I were her I’d be gladly paying it since I have 3 other children in 3 other homes (mine included) and I’m not asked to pay a penny for those kids. I’d fear that my refusal of paying for one would result in Karma biting me in the ass.

So the message I get is that some men are expected to foot the bill for children that aren’t theres but a mother can get away with not supporting any of her children. At least that’s the pattern I see over and over here.

]]> By: Niki http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-737 Niki Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:31:11 +0000 http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-737 My husband's father only paid $100 a month for 15 years. When I asked my MIL why it was such a small amount, she said she didn't feel like it was worth it to pursue. I agree, I think it needs to be hashed out by the parents, I wish all the men would be willing to step up to the plate even though most are decent fathers. Kat- "The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled." Agreed!! My husband’s father only paid $100 a month for 15 years. When I asked my MIL why it was such a small amount, she said she didn’t feel like it was worth it to pursue. I agree, I think it needs to be hashed out by the parents, I wish all the men would be willing to step up to the plate even though most are decent fathers.

Kat- “The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled.” Agreed!!

]]> By: ~kat http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-735 ~kat Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:52:16 +0000 http://scribblescratch.com/2007/07/12/you-are-not-the-father/#comment-735 yeah my hubby pays child support for a child we know isn't his. We had custody of her for 10+ years but due to her mental conditions she was a danger to the other 4 in our house and had no choice but let the state care for her. He's been on disability and has gone through hell for the last three years. But they still require him to pay weekly. The mother on the other hand lives in FL and because FL isn't all that grand with Child Support they don't bother chasing her from job to job to get it. Now she's in prison so no use trying. The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled. I've been on both sides of the fence and my ex and I before marriage came to an agreement if we ever had kids and divorced child support wouldn't be an issue. He doesn't pay and we are still friends 17 years later. Let the parents work it out and keep the government out of the way. yeah my hubby pays child support for a child we know isn’t his. We had custody of her for 10+ years but due to her mental conditions she was a danger to the other 4 in our house and had no choice but let the state care for her. He’s been on disability and has gone through hell for the last three years. But they still require him to pay weekly. The mother on the other hand lives in FL and because FL isn’t all that grand with Child Support they don’t bother chasing her from job to job to get it. Now she’s in prison so no use trying. The entire social services / child support system is corrupt should be shut down and dismantled. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and my ex and I before marriage came to an agreement if we ever had kids and divorced child support wouldn’t be an issue. He doesn’t pay and we are still friends 17 years later. Let the parents work it out and keep the government out of the way.

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