Rather silly, I suppose but I’ve created a little blog for myself - Life In Newfoundland over at blogspot. I can’t push the idea of living in Newfoundland out of my mind - maybe it’s just that I don’t want to as well. I figured I’d start this little side project, to keep my “hope” about it alive.
Speaking of which…
Still no budging with Jo. He just seems so set against it and it is really upsetting. We got into over this the other day. He just doesn’t understand how depressed/upset or whatever, I am about being here in Calgary. I do not like it here and as I’ve said before, I cannot picture myself making a life here permanently. The traffic drives me nuts. The fast pace of everything drives me nuts. My anxiety just goes through the roof when I’m having to face those things. I’m surprised I don’t have blisters on the palms of my hands from how tight I clutch the steering wheel when I’m driving.
He also doesn’t understand my point about holidays. As it is now, if we were to stay in Calgary, holidays would be a mess. We’d either have to spend it with his family or my own, us in Newfoundland and flying out my family, us in Georgia and flying out his (minus the grandparents because they’re getting too old for traveling and his grandmother is still sick). It’s like I tried explaining to him - it’d be much easier if we were in Newfoundland (neither of us think we want to live in the states again). We could have my family flown up for the holidays, which would allow both of our families to celebrate together every year. Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday. It’s “her” time, you know? I don’t want to spend my holidays split between families. This past Christmas was so hard because my family wasn’t there and while I truly loved being with his family and celebrating with them, I still would’ve liked my family being there.
Is it selfish of me to want this? I just don’t think it is, honestly. I know we’d be happy there. We both were this past winter. We’d both be working and since there are no photography studio’s there, I could gradually build myself up to owning one.
You just have no idea how happy I was there. How content I was and the peace I felt. It was the most wonderful time of my life and I want it back, forever. I don’t think that’s selfish.
Well, now that I’m off the original topic…
Feel free to check up on the new blog along and along. You can link to it if you want too, that’s up to you.
Life In Newfoundland